無法言語.

bad move.....

my bff wanna buy me a branded wallet and asked me which type of brand i prefer
since i don know anything about brand, i asked siblings for suggestions
end up kanna shoot until so jialat
dk branded stuffs still want to buy

我真的不配拥有高贵的东西吗？
结果，他们的提议却是去OG/wallet shop 买5个皮包。够我用5年。
好伤心哦
难得21岁想要有一个atas 的皮包，错了吗？

眼泪不停地流，我到底为了这个生日派对留了多少泪？

kanna scolded cos of KFC delivery today..
everything also my fault
even mummy also push blame..
kfc no delivery for that period of time also not i want de mah!! why like that? T.T

can your treat me btr?
i've changed.. but your still think i'm that spoilt kid...
am i that jialat...
its very demoralising...

so... u have finally decided to ignore me?

不喜欢待在家

待在家越久，被骂的机率就越高

一个人说你的不是，或许不是正确的

但两个至亲的人说你的不是

那你就得好好反省了

今天一早就被哥哥骂个臭头

哭得我就像坏掉的水龙头，眼泪流个不停

太凶了啦！

昨晚与朋友读到早上六点

哥哥一直都不相信我去读书

反正我已经说了，我去读书

你不相信我也不能说什么

昨晚charge portable charger 但爸爸却把电源关上:( 所以想和哥哥换charger结果他说不在他那里

我其实还蛮肯定在他那里的，

我记得之前有换charger并且charge the charger that is out of batt

But, he say is definately not with him

Find it very weird. Prepare my bag while thinking where did I place it at

Eventually, he found it, under his table. Which I assume someone jus push it under the table

So, I told him I take this charger, while his charger will be left charging In the living room

And JI BA BOM, he suddenly damn fed up.

He starts to scold me. Always steal his things. Take his stuffs without his permission

N he talks about his camera again, what if it spoils, pay him $500.

Hais.. I admit it's my mistake. Taking his stuffs without asking. I know that. I apologised

Then he start to shout. He thought I wasn't listening since I'm not looking at him.

Hais... I looked like a 7 years old kid doing smt wrong. So I stand up, face him, head down n listen to his scolding. 😔😔

I'm such a loser... Why did I make him angry again. Why didn I jus shut up. Why did I always take his things. Why did I always depend on him. Why is he always assuming. He thought I didn bother to charge it, he thought I went out to play, he thought I'm some bad gal taking the wrong path, he thought I think that frens are always the one for me. But.. Keeping quiet is probably the best. Jus like what my mum say, 少说话，事情就不会变大。 yea, I don bother explaining myself. I said what I wanna say, but if u don believe, I will jus diam. In case I get scolded again from arguing back,

Finally, he stop talking to me. Thought it's over, so I proceed on to wearing my shoes. ( still crying) I know everything is my fault, he said 好好要出门，我却把事情弄到没心情出门。I'm really sorry:( probably he can't see that I'm really sorry about it, he suddenly Chiong towards me n wanna hit me. I scream. I thought he gonna hit me:((( 我真的好怕。现在想起来，我又哭了。 he confiscate my laptop and even wan to reformat everything. ;(( hope that it's jus harsh words:( yea, he will confiscated but pls don reformat everything :(( I think I jus pay him $1000 Ltr night to redeem it back ;( or shd I jus buy a new lousy laptop. I need it to study :(( sian. Shit me.

Haha. Probably I'm really that bad that he wana kill me.. At least I'm still not that hopeless, if not he won even bother about me. Reflect, reflect, reflect. I need to be more responsible, smarter and better. And of cos, independence. I need to stop relying on my siblings. NOOOOOOOOO! KAo ZI ji, make it a habit !

JIAYOU...

WHY WHY WHY???

theres so many why in my head right now.
i don get it...
i don understand
i feel like crying..
what have i done to hurt someone over n over again...
i gonna get karma soon..
for hurting so many people...

i dont want.. what should i do???
i'm such a lousy person..
i'm useless.
i'm stupid
i'm blur..
but... hais

"when we honestly asked ourself which group of person in our lives really means the most to us, who often find that is those who instead of giving advice, solution, cures have chosen rather then share our pain and touch out wounds with a warm and tender hand."

my fren sent me this and kept me thinking for very long..
the ang mo may be chim but the meaning behind it is very surface

wanted to share it here.. but since i have alr talk everything out to my mirror...
jiu lazy explan again. HAHA
lols
ok bye

not sure is it because i have too many secrets or i just don trust anyone..
i don like ANYONE to peep at my stuffs....
be it phone, bag or laptop, documents
EVERYTHING!

jiu... no manners..
LOL

just realised i owed my sis $1000 plus !
3 months of school fees and phone bill not paid
siannnnn...
then shd i still go taiwan in june??
bday party another $1000 plus... daily expenses.. my debt.. monthly school fees and phone bills after that..
how long can my savings last me sia??

there's so many things i want to buy and i have the 冲动 to ask dad for money!! :(:(
but i cant! NOOOOOOOOOO!
damn it...
after june really need chiong work to maintain the money i have in my accounts for my future plan.

lucky, i save a lot during my teenage life...
actually i didn save...
cos i keep asking money from dad. :(
whatever i buy, i claim from dad.
spoilt kid seriously.
but i've changed!
somehow???

LOL
jus ranting