無法言語.

smt happen on 18 october 2016 tuesday...

its his off day and... of cos as usual we go out
but i need to go nan yang poly to take smt from Mr jusitn and then back to SP at 7pm to dance.
we met at 2pm so we proceed to bishan to eat. then to nan yang poly.
we still have much time left we head over to bukit tiamh cos he wanna buy luggage
passed by alot of maids and start to feel moody..
feel sad for them, everyday sit there do nth waiting for ppl to collec them:(
their puppy eyes when they look at me..
so i rant to him... but apparently he don care and cut with another conversation
he's always like that so i jus msg veron to rant instead.
honestly, still feeling moody about him the whole day but i know he won like it, so i tried to be normal
till this happens.. i'm ranting n he jus cut me like that.
while he shop for luggage, i walk around to make me feel better
when i'm back he was paying for the luggage
he asked if he's nice and i honestly don like it
n he angry...... he wanna ask me for opinions but i walked away and now i say its ugly
i dk why he can be angry over this

n of cos everything accumulate
he blame me for not having conversation with him. no topic at all.
say we arent suitable
i wasted his off day.. even though we went out half day its also a waste... he could have go out with frens the whole day probably go somewhere further..
i explained cos its last training and the rest of the members only can make it on tuesday.
he said why shd i compromise them...

probably he didn know dance is my life and he hated it.... i should go out with hm rather than going so many dance training
he said we arent suitable. .cos even if i found a office job i couldnt pei him on his off day
so is it i must find sales line for him?

i don get it at night when i was complaining to him what i'm sad about him
the letter case
i gave him a letter on second month but apparently we quarreled so i decided to take back the letter.... told him he didn say anything...
nvm, after a few days i told him i found the letter in my pouch, hoping he will want it back.
but he cut me with another conversation.......it jus seems he don care about the letter
so ytd i told him i threw away the letter cos he doesnt he wan
know what?
he angry.
he demand an apologies from me cos i threw it away
he said he didn want, cos the letter was nth good...
he totally forgot what happen, whats the letter about n he can be angry?
why?

hes no longer the same alr

Yes, u can give me happiness, u are loyal

BUT....

u arent the one who can guide me in life, help me whenever i need help, care for me when i'm injured....

Is it that i'm exepecting? i'm greedy... or.. are you jus not the one for me...

u think u don even love me... u wont have sad moments if we break up, neither will u cry about it

kinda hurting uh. hahah

Probably its karma.

i'm the one who initiate the break up n u plead me to stay.

n now vice versa....

u said i destroy this r/s, i need to put in effort to let u gain back your trust n love.

i need to do this n that....

yea, i'm trying to become the one u like.....

n when i don follow your instructions, u angry...

while me? crying my lungs out and what u gonna say is... break up

I'm confused.

its jus such a waste to lose someone who i'm been with so long

n i don wan to break up cos my parents/relatives/frens know about us alr

this r/s is always about you and you and you

i need to do this to let u love me more..

i cannot expect, i cannot greedy i cannot this n that

i must try harder. harder n even harder

but have u ever think for me?

how u can do to make me love u more

to do all these stuffs willingly

have u?

do u know what i want?

u don't... u don't even try....

despite me asking for it so many times....

u don;t care..

i'm injured? i asked for it n thats all...

when i sad, i msg my frens to cheer me up..

i feel more care n concern from my frens who will initiate to ask if i'm alright

they take the extra mile to help me when i;m in needs/doubt

asked whats happening in me...

watch my dance video, wish me luck for my comp, ask how is it..

am i in a r/s with frens or u?

i'm confused...

i'm no longer myself when i'm with u....

thinking of following what u wan me to be as your gf...

while i receive none